Recently I have come to the conclusion that self love is life. If neuro-plasticity is real and you can forge new pathways in your brain to adopt positive beliefs, why not tell yourself you are a woman of paradise, and that people are blessed to know you! This is not conceit, it’s just confidence, self-assurance and having hope in your potential.
I really do treat myself like a precious flower that has floated down from the seventh heaven (lol ). At least to the best of my ability.
Some tips to inculcate a deep love for yourself:
- Do what God has told you to do and avoid what He has told you to avoid. The sense of moral righteousness will help you to feel clean inside and will give you a refreshing sense of integrity that in turn will make you feel beautiful.
- Work with children if you can. Children are the most precious creation on this earth and like the elderly are the closest to paradise and a sound heart. They are filled with innocence and candour and having a position of pastoral care over them will help your heart fill with love for them and yourself because you were once like that.
- Don’t slip, even in private. Always have impeccable hygiene, invest in beauty treatments, keep your nails filed and hair done, wear clean and elegant clothes, keep your surroundings tidy and smelling fresh, keep on top of hair removal (if you can, invest in laser), eat good food and have good manners. No doubt about it you will feel beautiful if you always look good, smell great and act right.
- Work hard. Whether you are still studying or employed, try your best at what you do and have an excellent work ethic. You will feel good when you are fulfilling your potential and using your intellect to its capacity.
- Develop an excellent character. Apologise to those you have wronged, give daily, try to eliminate the diseases in your heart, help people out, be actively kind. This is self-explanatory.
- Strive to achieve ihsan. The epitome of spiritual beauty will help you to feel beautiful in other elements of your being.
- Do not swear, backbite, gossip, slander, indulge in vulgar talk or persistently hang around those who do. You will feel as though you have betrayed yourself, which is never a good feeling and will feel internally ugly.
- Be compassionate to yourself. When I used to have a critical voice in my head bludgeoning me because of my failures, I used the resources at my disposal to change this. This was the Prayer of need over several months (a two rakat prayer and du’a you make) to change my opinion of myself and silence the negativity. It works. If you don’t know how to change something about yourself, always ask God and He will change it. Ask for compassion if you don’t know how.
- Go to the gym, stay healthy and look after your body. This is an act of self love as your body is a trust.
- Keep on top of your finances -this will help you to feel independent and put together.
- READ. EVERYTHING!
- Finally surround yourself with uplifting activities, content and people. Let harmful friends go- the ones that you feel bad around and replace them with kinder ones. Read empowering blog posts/ magazines and literature, watch inspirational youtubers/ documentaries, pick up fun hobbies, go on regular outings that spark your curiosity. This will help fuel the positive narrative you have of yourself and keep your life fun and enjoyable.