I was at BMBG’s book club yesterday talking about the latest bestseller Queenie, and someone brought up a very interesting framework to understand yourself and others.
She explained that there is a difference between responsibility and fault. She said taking responsibility for something doesn’t mean that it is/ it was completely your fault. It is possible to own up to your wrong in the moment and take responsibility whilst also understanding you are a product of your childhood and circumstance whereby the wrong is not necessarily entirely your fault.
Girls who grow up in gang culture with unstable homes and parents may claim responsibility for a crime they later commit but this doesn’t mean the fault necessarily lies with them. Some things are beyond their control.
In Islam whilst there is the same sin and thus the same responsibility for lewd actions such as adultery, the old man who commits it is worse than the young boy hence why Allah will not look at him on the day of judgement. Same responsibility, different degrees of fault.
Just something to internalise and a framework to serve as a preventative measure for premature judgement, of ourselves and others